I am doing alright, I think. I'm a bit uncertain about where I'm placed with people, but I always am, I suppose.
I remain using ketamine pretty regularly, lorazepam too to fill in the gaps: lorazepam can help, though it gives the feeling of making you slightly like a dementia patient.
It sort of slows you down, is the feeling, and it makes life easier at it's hardest points -- the literal effect is your brain slowing down, so I suppose it's good. I was prescribed it for cutting myself a lot after I got into some bad times around February/March.
It can affect you pretty strongly -- it's, it's strange, unique. I don't know what to think about the benzodiazepine family. I am glad I have tried it -- I have always been interested in being familiar with every type of drug, although I obviously don't want to try anything worse -- I am too vulnerable and know my weaknesses. Things like cocaine, heroin, speed, MDMA, are not really for me.
I'm not interested in psychedelics either, particularly. I guess ketamine is regarded as somewhat psychedelic, from a few things I've read, but, I feel like seeing everything being wavy and shit would just make me be sick -- and I neeeeeeverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr want to be sick.
I met up with people again, and I continue to expose myself to the edges of my soul without due regard to it's sharpness.
You could say atleast a child learns to stop touching the side of the kettle. I hope that this doesn't count, given I need to do things like this to be happier, to live longer -- all truth supports this.
I've learnt some important truths, too. My friends and loved ones are reliable people. Which is a really, really good thing, that I am ever so grateful for.
I've been enjoying my Switch 2 -- I never played much of the original -- and I'm excited to see what's next for it. Likewise, although I'm conflicted about Sam Hyde, I have been enjoying Fishtank, but perhaps I need to be careful with those sorts of things.
I'm quite happy, I suppose, although I am drained. I need to get some things out of the way, like my IT certification. I don't want to retire working this job, I would rather do anything else. And hey -- I've been discharged from my mental health team, so I must be doing something right!
I am looking forward to the future, and I hope I can eventually drag myself into l